Most people are busy all day with work or school or social obligations. The nighttime is when things get slower and quieter. In this calmer, more solitary setting, your brain has far more space to focus on worries and concerns. There are far fewer distractions to silence your anxiety. This, of course, can result in sleep problems.

From there, a cycle can kick in. Nighttime anxiety interrupts your sleep. Feeling exhausted the next day makes you more vulnerable to anxiety. Daytime anxiety turns into nighttime anxiety and things go from there. Obviously, it is vital to have methods available to calm anxiety at night.

Yes to Routines and Rituals

You don’t have to structure and plan your entire life. But having routines serves the dual purpose of decreasing anxiety and enhancing your sleep patterns. Here are some suggestions and guidelines to consider:

• Your routines during the day can set you up for peaceful sleep. Eating at the same time is a great way to start. Also, a regular exercise regimen burns off stress while creating a routine and improving sleep. Most of all, get to bed at the same time each evening.
• Create and adhere to nightly bedtime rituals. It could be reading, taking a bath, meditating, or basically anything that is tech-free (scrolling is not going to help you nod off). Completing these rituals lets your brain know that it is time to get sleepy.
• If you lay down but have trouble sleeping, get up. Train yourself that the bed is for sleep. So, get up and do more of the relaxing rituals mentioned above.
• Awaken at the same time each day — even when you don’t have work or school.

How to Calm Anxiety at Night

Accept What is Happening

Anxiety is an incredibly common problem. There is no shame in feeling it and it’s best managed by first acknowledging its existence. Learn more about anxiety, its origins, and how to address it.

Try Using a Weighted Blanket

This is not just a hot Internet trend. A weighted blanket, thanks to its deep-pressure stimulation, can reduce anxiety and improve sleep.

White Noise

Another helpful tool is a white noise machine. Setting one of these up in your bedroom drowns out distracting noises. Study after study finds that static sound enhances sleep quality.

Avoid Drinking Alcohol and Caffeine

Both of these substances have the potential to increase your anxiety levels while negatively impacting your sleep. Ideally, don’t drink or eat anything too close to bedtime.

Develop Some Simple Relaxation Techniques

Here are some examples to get you started:

• Deep breathing exercises
• Yoga
• Tai chi
• Meditation
• Aromatherapy and essential oils
• Listening to mellow music
• Cuddling with a pet

These important tools can be helpful in both helping you wind down before bed and easing you into sleep after you’ve laid down.

Start Journaling

It has been shown that writing down your feelings can be helpful as a way of letting them go. You can make journaling part of your pre-sleep rituals. Just as effectively, add to your journal during the day to help process emotions before they can become nighttime obstacles.

Ask For Help When You Need It

Everyone has some level of anxiety in their life. But, if you find those anxious feelings getting to the point where they are negatively impacting your sleep, it could be time to talk to a professional. An anxiety disorder can affect your sleep and therefore, hamper your daily functioning. You do not have to struggle on your own.

Before this cycle can take hold, I invite you to reach out for support. Let’s get you set up for a free and confidential consultation for anxiety treatment.

According to the notorious Urban Dictionary, “adulting” is a verb that means “to carry out one or more of the duties and responsibilities expected of fully developed individuals.” But they add this caveat: “exclusively used by those who adult less than 50% of the time.” Translation: Adulting makes plenty of people anxious. If you’re one of them, you can take solace in not being alone.

Simply put, growing up is challenging — now more than ever. It is inevitable that you will feel anxious about it at times. A major step is to accept this normal tendency while learning the skills you’ll need to productively move forward into adulthood.

A Few Reasons Why Adulting Can Feel Scary

The Obvious

Almost always, adults have way more responsibilities and obligations. Their lives are busier and there is a much smaller margin for error. If that doesn’t give you pause, you’re not paying attention.

The Abstract

Separation anxiety is real. Even if you don’t have a great relationship with your parents, you may fear losing the security of the family. Being an adult means a higher potential for loneliness. Also, it means less immediate support for all the new duties touched on above.

The Scary

Death anxiety is real, too. The transition from child to teen to adult means, of course, that time is passing. You may feel anxious about losing the people in your life. That anxiety can also be triggered by you losing the innocence of childhood. In addition, as you age, you accumulate more meaning in your life. This is great but it also symbolizes that you have more to lose.

How to Ease the Anxiety of Adulting

Again, Recognize That You Are Not Alone

Sticking with the theme of this post, let’s reiterate that adulting anxiety is not a sign that you are uniquely flawed. It is a sign that you are human. Practice patience and self-compassion. No one said adulting would be easy. This part of modern life and you will find your way!

Don’t Settle

You will get plenty of advice urging you to make practical choices. There is some value in this, of course, but — through it all — move toward your passions. This is your life. You do not have to follow society’s blueprint. So, pay close attention to whatever brings you joy. What makes you lose track of time when you do it? And remember: You can fail at the “practical” option, too. Therefore, if life is fraught with risks, why not focus on that which lights you up?

Connect With Others

Find ways — in person and online — to interact with folks in your age range to share stories, doubts, plans, and more. Don’t hide away if you feel ashamed of what you see as slow progress. Open up and create a community. Surrounding yourself with peers is a chance to grow, learn, network, and evolve. It is how ideas are formed and nurtured.

Talk With an Expert

I’m not talking about a career expert (although that might help). I’m suggesting you reach out for counseling. There are many valid reasons why you are struggling to achieve independence. Some of these reasons might be tough to talk about. In a therapy setting, it is easier to share and be vulnerable. The more you explore your underlying patterns, beliefs, blockages, and dreams, the more capable you can become as an adult.

There is no magic formula to adulting. However, committing to therapy sessions positions you to develop the skills you need to thrive. If adulting has you stressed, I invite you to set up a free and confidential consultation at your earliest convenience for anxiety treatment. Let’s tackle this transition together!

The American Test Anxieties Association says that 40% of students experience test anxiety. It can be very frustrating for your college student when they have studied all of the material. They may call home looking for solace. They may come home looking to escape the pressure. Is there anything you can do to encourage them?

Resist the urge to rescue and help them face their test challenges with the following strategies instead:

1. Help Them Notice Unproductive Thinking

Do you sense that your student thinks about testing in ways that makes things worse? They may be prone to catastrophizing. This is worst-case scenario thinking that feels very real at the time.  This type of thinking can worsen test anxiety significantly.

Students sometimes think that they are doomed to get an awful test score or won’t remember a single fact on an exam. These thoughts seem true to them at the moment. Without judgment, ask them to take a  mental step back and gain a bit of perspective. Ask them to challenge the idea that the test is “all or nothing” and look for truths about what they already know and how they can study more.

This will help them slow their thinking and rein in racing thoughts. Finding more realistic ways of thinking about upcoming exams will serve to decrease test anxiety and support improved self-control

2. Promote Positive Self-Talk

There may be a persistent and critical voice inside your student’s head insisting that they are too unprepared,  too unintelligent, or too incapable of doing well. These unwanted thoughts and unhelpful self-criticisms only fuel test anxiety and the joy of learning. After a while, your student may start to believe them.

To prevent negativity from overcoming your student’s thoughts, encourage them with affirmation and validation of their strengths. Encourage them to fight the negativity with positive self-talk instead. Let them know that this test does not determine their worth or intelligence.

3. Encourage a Change in Study Approach

Your college student may think that all-night cram sessions will help them, but all it will do is drain their energy. A lack of sleep exacerbates anxiety and brain fog, not helpful for productive studying or test-taking.

How your student lays the foundation for success before a test begins makes a big difference. Encourage them to set aside time to study as well as schedule break times. More importantly, nudge them to use all of the tools available to them. Promote a learning mindset by assuring them that using a tutor, study sessions, a study skills specialist, and conferences with teaching assistants are all good ways to embrace college academics. There is no shame in seeking help.

4. Prompt Physical Health

Your student may be trying to be mentally strong while studying for a test, but wearing themselves down physically. Encourage fresh air, hydration, whole foods, and rest. All are things that were routine at home with you but may be lacking as they adjust to living on their own.

Suggest that a healthy balance of study and exercise will help keep calm and clarity in good supply. Not only will your student burn calories, but they will burn nerves and feel more confident. Conversely remind them that just because they can stay up all night, doesn’t mean they should. Advise at least a solid night’s sleep before the test.

Sometimes Anxiety Needs Extra Care

Taking control of test anxiety may be more than just a self-help measure for your student.  If your college student is still struggling, give them your full support by encouraging a session or two with a campus advisor or counselor.

Moreover, ask them to consider online anxiety therapy too. Normalizing mental healthcare can help them feel comfortable reaching out whenever they need help. This is a key skill for any adult. Let us help. Reach out soon so we can assist you and your student navigate test anxiety and more.

Social anxiety can be a vexing issue. Obviously, of course, there is the fear of social interactions. This can put quite a damper on your daily functions. In addition, social anxiety can become an obstacle when pondering ways to deal with it. You may prefer to avoid strangers and be the center of attention. Thus, reaching out for help may feel triggering.

With all this in mind, it can be helpful to explore some effective self-help strategies. Your ability to self-educate and self-soothe can pave the way for outside support. It all begins with a realization that you have more power than you realize.

Social Anxiety Symptoms

You may dread situations like:

• Asking a question in class or a work meeting
• Eating in public
• Using public restrooms
• Talking on the phone

Such interactions can bring on physical symptoms, such as:

• Shaky voice
• Trembling
• Nausea and other digestive issues
• Racing heart
• Dizziness
• Blushing and sweating

As a result, psychological symptoms arise, e.g.

• Social withdrawal and self-isolation
• Intense worrying about any upcoming situation that feels scary
• Fearing that others will notice your social anxiety and remark on it
• Self-medication and substance abuse to dull the anxiety

For Starters…

The goal is never to try eliminating anxiety from your life. Anxiety is not only normal, it is essential. It serves to protect and guide you. It sets off responses that empower you to deal with legitimate threats. Problems arise when your mind and body react to dangers that do not exist. You can get stuck in the fight, flight, or freeze response and live in a state of chronic fear. This manifests as social anxiety when the perceived risks involve interactions with other people — especially people you do not know.

Fortunately, self-help strategies can effectively address this situation and thereby make it easier for you to seek out professional guidance.

4 Effective Strategies to Deal with Social Anxiety

1. Identify and Prepare For Your Triggers

A journal will come in handy to monitor and track your social anxiety triggers. Once you’ve compiled a list, you are better positioned to find ways to prepare in a productive way.

2. Learn Some Relaxation Techniques

As you can see from the above lists, social anxiety can cause some strong physical reactions. This can escalate the anxiety from fear of being noticed. To counter these trends, develop some stress management practices, e.g. meditation, yoga, and breathing exercises.

3. Talk Back to Your Inner Voice

Anxiety is a persistent and convincing liar. But you can talk back and fact-check. When anxiety tells you a situation or person is dangerous, ask for proof. Challenge the negative thoughts and work to replace them with reality-based perspectives.

4. Engage in Random Acts of Kindness

Studies show that people with social anxiety can calm their minds by practicing acts of kindness — large or small. You get to practice social interactions in a setting that gives you power. The people you help gain a positive perception of you. And, of course, someone in need gets help!

When You’re Ready to Reach Out

You’ve already shown strength by accepting the situation and your need for help. Once you’ve integrated the above suggestions, you may feel more and more comfortable with the idea of contacting a counselor as the next step. In today’s digital world, this process can even begin with virtual sessions.

An experienced therapist can and will guide you through the process of managing and minimizing your social anxiety. Your anxiety therapy sessions will be your safe space to talk openly and roleplay for future events. We would love to help you along this path toward healing and recovery. Please contact us soon for support.

Over your lifetime you have developed deeply-held core beliefs that guide how you think, act, and relate to the world around you. These core beliefs do not always originate from explicit messages you’ve been taught (though they may), and many times you may not even be aware what these core beliefs are. When these core beliefs about yourself, others, or the world are negative, your life will be less fulfilling than it could be.

What are the effects of negative thinking?

Negative thoughts are stressful. And when your core beliefs are negative, you think a lot of negative thoughts. That means you are chronically stressed, which is unhealthy for your mental, physical, and relationship health.

The more negative core beliefs you have, the more fear and self-doubt you will experience.

And the more scared and uncertain you are, the more comforting your comfort zone will feel—even if your comfort zone isn’t logically something with which you want to be comfortable. For example, someone with a negative core belief that “I’m not worthy of being treated well by others” may remain in a toxic relationship because it fits their belief system. In that way, the toxic relationship feels comfortable because it supports an existing belief system, even though it is obviously anything but comfortable.

If you find yourself thinking negative thoughts, it is a sign that there may be an underlying negative core belief that is causing you to interpret the situation in a painful, pessimistic, or self-critical manner. You will naturally defend your beliefs because they feel true to you, and you have been looking for, and found, much evidence for holding on to that negative core belief. That problem is, you haven’t been looking for evidence to the contrary.