Every child reacts differently to the prospect of going back to school. Those who feel anxiety usually move past it once a few days or weeks have passed. That said, the initial anxiety they feel is genuine. Then you have the children who don’t smoothly move past the anxious thoughts. The transition never seems to get easier.

A parent can play a critical role in these scenarios. They can validate their child’s emotions and, just as importantly, each parent must check in with themselves to make sure they aren’t causing more anxiety. There are countless ways to help an anxious child and this work begins with learning to recognize the signs.

Common Signs of Anxiety

Even when they reach high school age, your children can struggle with finding the right language to express their emotions. Therefore, it becomes crucial that parents learn to recognize anxiety symptoms. This is not about the occasional nervousness or worry. We’re talking about signs that persist for weeks and hamper the child’s ability to handle daily functioning, e.g.

• Sudden disruptions in eating and sleeping habits (more or less of either)
• Digestive problems
• Short temper
• Restlessness and an inability to focus and concentrate
• Unexplained crying and/or agitation
• Becoming more clingy
• Active expression of concerns, worries, and fears

Left unchecked, anxiety can hurt your kid’s academic performance and social life. In an older child, anxiety can increase the risk of substance abuse. Obviously, it is essential that such children get the help they need and deserve.

How To Help Your Child Deal With Anxiety About Going Back To School

Validate

Listen to their worries and make it clear that you take them seriously. Acknowledge that starting school can make people nervous and remind them that they are not alone. Avoid phrases like “You’ll be fine!” It may sound encouraging to you but can add to your child’s anxiousness. They’ll begin to wonder if there’s something specifically wrong with them.

Self-Assessment

As mentioned above, you can unknowingly contribute to the tension. What stress are you feeling and expressing about the start of the school year? Your child can sense your emotions and may feed off of them. Also, watch how you phrase questions. If your child struggled with writing the previous year, don’t ask if they’re nervous about English class this year. You can gently inquire with something like, “What material will they cover in your classes this year?” Give them room to open up at their own pace.

Preparation

Some suggestions:

• Begin school-year routines (like bedtime and preparing tomorrow’s clothes) a week or so before school begins.
• Do some practice runs of the commute. If your child takes a school bus, you can drive them on the route a few times to make them familiar in advance. If your child is a teen and will be driving on their own to school, urge them to do the drive a few times to get comfortable with the roads, parking, etc.
• If possible, visit the school before classes start. Meeting one of their upcoming teachers (again, if possible) could be a huge relief.
• If your child has classmates they haven’t seen all summer, arrange a play date to get them together before the school semester commences.

Stay Positive, But Ask For Help When You Need It

You can reassure your children and help them make lists of the positive aspects of school. But if your efforts don’t ease their mind, reach out to a professional. A counselor can provide so much solace and guidance for both you and your children. Let’s connect for a free consultation about child therapy.

When someone is neurodivergent, it doesn’t mean something negative. Rather, the term applies to how they behave, learn, process, and think. To some degree, we are all different within those realms but there are neurodiverse conditions. These include but are not limited to Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Dyslexia, Tourette’s syndrome, and even anxiety disorders.

About 20 percent of children qualify as neurodivergent. They have brain development adaptations and thus, adjustments must be made. In particular, this pertains to communication. Learning to best communicate with your neurodivergent child will enable you to support them and enrich both of your lives.

Some of the Many Challenges When Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

• The child is often guided by emotions
• They are very difficult to calm down
• You must adjust your expectations
• It’s important to practice self-care, self-compassion, and self-control
• Communication

That last item covers a lot of ground. You may feel as if you are speaking different languages at times. But common ground can be found. It’ll be an evolving process but is very much worth the effort.

How to Improve Communication With Your Neurodivergent Child

Of course, the following suggestions are eternal in nature. Each neurodivergent child is as unique as each neurotypical child. Make adjustments where necessary and be sure to ask for professional help when it is needed.

1. Self-Education

This is an ongoing process. There is no one “right way” to communicate with your child. Not to mention, it automatically evolves as your child ages. Commit to understanding what you need to understand in order to make your interactions happen more smoothly.

2. Talk to Your Child About Their Condition

Be sure to help them grasp their differences. Explain that some people are more accepting than others and support them as they navigate a sometimes cruel world.

3. Include Them in Conversations

Never assume they are not interested or curious. For example, if your neurodivergent child is present during a family discussion, ask them if they’d like to participate. Let them know that they are neither excluded from the conversation nor required to chime in.

4. Create Signals For Difficult Situations

Neurodivergent children may be more affected by outside stimuli than others. It could be noise, lights, textures, or more. Work in advance with your child to come up with escape plans should they become overstimulated. To avoid embarrassment or having to explain too much, these plans could involve your own personal language, e.g. signals or facial expressions.

5. Don’t Force Them to Communicate “Normally”

Just because most people communicate a certain doesn’t make other ways abnormal. A neurodivergent child’s method of communication may be uncommon. But let your child know that “uncommon” isn’t weird or wrong. If your child has a preferred method of interacting, the onus is on you to meet them where they’re at. Create a safe space in which they do not feel judged or pressured.

6. Involve Other Families Members (and Teachers, Too)

Obviously, you are not the only person your child interacts with. Do your part to build a bridge between your neurodivergent child and their siblings, extended families, teachers, neighbors, therapists, and so on. Not everyone will be as dedicated and patient as you but every little bit helps.

Parenting a Neurodivergent Child is Not a Solo Act

You will need guidance from skilled practitioners. Your child will almost certainly have a therapist. But what about you? When you’re running on empty, who do you turn to? Your weekly therapy sessions can be a sanctuary for addressing your fears, doubts, resentments, dreams, and more. we’d love to connect with you for a free and confidential consultation soon for child therapy.

Did you know that roughly 44 percent of American teens feel sad or even hopeless? In light of the lockdowns, etc., you might not be surprised by this number. But what if I told you the number was almost as high before the pandemic? In fact, the number of teens feeling sad, hopeless, or having suicidal thoughts rose the most between 2009 and 2019. So, if it wasn’t all due to the pandemic, what could be the cause?

By 2010, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, Instagram, Pinterest, and the hashtag were in full effect. What role did the advent of social media have in the state of adolescent mental health?

What is Really Going Viral?

The average child opens their first social media account at 12 years old. Within one year, according to recent research, that translates to 97 percent of 13- to 17-year-olds on social media. About half of these teens admit to being online “almost constantly.” Studies find that the more time a kid is online, the higher the risk of:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Hopelessness
• Isolation

The confusion lies in the reality that kids can gain benefits from social media time, e.g.

• Access to information that can help their education
• Access in general for teens with disabilities or illnesses
• Awareness of current events
• The ability to interact with peers all across the globe

But the same mechanisms that offer such upsides are placing adolescents in some precarious situations.

The Curse of the Algorithm

Social media platforms are created with the simple goal of making profits — lots of profits. To succeed at this mission requires them to keep people’s eyes on their screens. This is accomplished through a wide range of tactics managed by an artificial intelligence algorithm. Kids are naturally impulsive. They are still developing their identities and intellectual capacities while subjected to intense marketing and manipulation.

They are herded into small hive minds that can present a skewed perception of the world around them. As a result, there are impacted by negative factors ranging from bullying to fake news to body image problems and beyond. In other words, it is essential for parents and guardians to get involved in some way.

How You Can Help

• Talk to Your Children About Social Media: Explain to them that such platforms are run by huge corporations that don’t always have your best interests at heart. If necessary, monitor their accounts.
• Talk to Your Children About Mental Health: Don’t let this topic be taboo or stigmatized. Normalize conversations about your everyone’s mental well-being.
• Set Limits: Sure, this will provoke some conflict. But consider the alternative. You have every right and reason to set boundaries, e.g. no devices at the dinner table.
• Talk About Appropriate Behavior: There is so much a teen can get caught up in online. Bring these topics out into the open. Discuss difficult subjects like bullying, pornography, etc.
• Set Up Face-to-Face Socializing: Do everything you can to get your children to maximize in-person social time.

You’re In Uncharted Territory

As the numbers above highlight, this is a relatively new issue. As a parent, you can be forgiven for not having all the answers. This makes it crucial that you take personal steps to learn all you can — as soon as you can. Of course, you need to be up to date on what your kids are doing. But, more importantly, you’ll need input from a professional.

Parenting was hard enough before social media and smartphones. In this brave new world, it is necessary to learn new skills in terms of managing your adolescent’s online life. If you feel concerned about the social media usage, child therapy can help both of you. Let’s connect and talk soon.

Kids can have some pretty volatile mood swings. They will display intense sadness if, say, they lose at a game or are told they can’t have more dessert. This is normal. It can also be frustrating at times. In addition, this reality can make it quite difficult to identify symptoms of a depressive disorder. Because, yes, children can struggle with depression, too.

Depression in adults can be tricky to recognize. With kids, that goes double. In both cases, it is essential that you learn the telltale signs. Again, with kids, that goes double. A child relies on caregivers to identify the need for help.

How to Spot Depression In Children

The first step is to push aside much of the mainstream discussion. Depression in children may or may not mimic how it manifests in adults. It also probably will not look anything like how pop culture portrays it. To get started, here are some possible signs:

• A big one to look for is a child who seems to have lost interest in activities that once excited them. This may be accompanied by low energy and a sense of restlessness.
• How are they doing in school? Is your child refusing to go? Are their grades suddenly dropping? Have they withdrawn from social interactions?
• Changes in daily functioning could be a red flag. This could be something like appetite fluctuations or disturbances in sleep patterns.
• Do you notice mood-related shifts? Your child may have angry outbursts, irritability, a bad temper, or sudden episodes of crying.
• Physical symptoms include unexplained digestive issues, aches, pains, headaches, muscle tension, or not gaining weight and size as expected.
• Perhaps the most depression-like sign you’ll see is the most urgent. Is your child displaying low self-esteem, feeling worthless or guilty, or talking about death or suicide?

As many as five percent of children between the ages of 3 and 17 suffer from depression. If anything on the above list rang a bell, you should at least start monitoring closely. However, if you have witnessed behavior that even hints at suicide, please reach out immediately.

How to Help a Child With Depression

As a parent or caregiver, there are two major ways you can help your child as they undergo treatment.

1. Offering Emotional Support

You are your child’s go-to person — especially in tough times. If they are struggling with depression, it becomes your role to find appropriate ways to be there for them without overwhelming them, e.g.

• Let your child clearly know that you validate their feelings and are ready to listen
• Maximize the amount of quality time you spend together
• Role model the practice of open, direct, and honest conversations
• Deepen your trust with each other

2. Encouraging Self-Care

Teaching self-care skills to your child is a gift that never stops giving. Some of the fundamental elements to consider are:

• Maintain regular sleep patterns
• Make healthy eating choices
• Engage in physical activity, exercise, and sports every single day
• Cultivate methods to relieve stress

Who Should You Contact?

Obviously, depression is not something to ever be downplayed. If you have concerns, talk with your pediatrician. Also, you must seek out a mental health practitioner with pediatric experience. A child or adolescent may not find it easy to articulate what they are feeling. This makes it all the more important to get input from qualified professionals.

Childhood depression can be addressed, managed, and treated. The first step, of course, is to recognize the problem. If you have any reason to be worried about your child, I invite you to reach out today. Let’s connect and talk in the name of supporting your child.