Maybe you distract yourself with work or hobbies until you realize another year has gone by and your relationship isn’t any more satisfying than it was last time you admitted to yourself you weren’t happy with it. Could things really be better? Should you give it more time? Is it okay to move on even though things are okay, but not great? How do you decide? And how do you even go about improving things, if you opt to stay in it?
If you find yourself feeling unsure about your partner’s commitment to you, you may be right that they aren’t committed. Or it could be that you don’t feel lovable enough to believe in the commitment they have made to you. How can you tell the difference?
Or maybe it just seems easier to stay with the status quo even though you aren’t happy, which can be a sign that you’re in an uncomfortable comfort zone. If this is the case, things won’t get better without a disruption of some sort. Proactively addressing it is a gentler way of making change than what happens when the pressure builds without relief.
Although uncertainty in relationships can be quite normal, feeling unsettled and doubting your relationship can make you anxious, restless, and unhappy. You know you can’t control them; you can only control yourself. The less you trust your ability to be okay regardless of what your partner does, the more disruptive uncertainties will feel.
Having doubts about your relationship can be a sign that something is not as good as it could be – in your relationship, within yourself, and often both.
In this situation, the changes that are best are different for everyone. There is a balance to be found between uncertainty and taking your partner for granted.