You and your partner fight. Sometimes, you don’t even know what you are fighting about it. The argument begins about one issue but before you know it each of you are dredging up all sorts of issues from the past. You’re flinging ugly words at each other. Or you give up and walk away in silence. It’s awful. You love each other and want to make this work but you simply can’t figure out how to get out of conflict.
Is Your Relationship in Distress?
Couples fight. However, when it gets past a certain point, you find yourself in a truly distressed relationship. A relationship in distress is one where problems are persistent and serious, conflict is common, and one or both people are suffering.
Your relationship may be in distress if you:
- Are locked in a pattern of breaking up and getting back together
- Argue frequently
- Frequently considering or threatening separation or divorce
- Regret ever getting into the relationship
Distressed relationships are dangerous. You’re not just risking the wellbeing of the relationship itself. You’re risking your individual wellbeing. Couples enduring this kind of regular conflict are at greater risk of mental health issues (including depression and anxiety) as well as physical health issues such as migraines and high blood pressure.
It may feel like you’ll never get out of this pattern but therapy for couples can help.
Dealing with Conflict Together
Partners tend to get into patterns of fighting. Whereas you were once a couple teamed up together against the world, now you may feel like you’re always at odds with one another. Therapy can help you get back to a place where you are working together instead of fighting against each other.
When couples come to therapy, each often feels like they are right, and their partner is wrong. That’s perfectly normal. You’re locked in that pattern. Your fights have turned into black-and-white arguments and you are each no longer able to see the grey. It seems like the only way to solve things is for one of you to give in. Neither wants to do that, so you’re stuck.
Couples counseling can help you start to remember that your partner is not the problem. You are not the problem. The problem is the problem. As you work with the tools of therapy, you can return to a place where you work together as a team to solve the problem. Even when the conflict is not yet resolved, this shift in approach can help improve how you both feel about the relationship.
Utilizing a Professional to Mediate Conflict
Therapy provides one of the best options for conflict resolution in relationships. We can offer the support, techniques, tools, and safe space for each of you to learn new ways of communicating. We can help you get to the bottom of the conflict so that you can work together to solve it or manage it in a way that works for each of you.
You both have so many wonderful strengths as individuals. You also have traits that are terrific as a couple. You’ve just gotten a little bit lost along the way. Couples therapy helps you relocate those strengths and utilize them to get past the conflict. You can both find the relationship that you’re seeking. Reach out for this help today.