Take a look at any list of life’s most stressful events and you’ll find divorce or separation up near the top. Sure, some divorces are for the better but that most definitely does not mean it isn’t stressful. It’s a form of loss and that means you will grieve. All of this adds up to a high risk of depression.

Post-divorce depression is a very common situational disorder. This is not to say it has to expand into full-blown clinical depression — but it can. Therefore, it demands your full attention and a willingness to do some changing, adjusting, and adapting.

The Stress-Depression Connection

Studies have found that high levels of stress can increase a person’s risk of depression by tenfold. Thus, it should come as no surprise that divorced people display depression at a much higher rate than those in a relationship. Then, of course, you must factor in the possibility that you may have been dealing with some level of depression even before the divorce happened. In other words, stress can lead to depression and/or make it worse.

What Does Depression After A Divorce Look And Feel Like?

It’s not always easy to identify. After all, when going through a divorce, you will undoubtedly show signs and symptoms that can appear normal under the circumstances. What you want to watch for is if the symptoms like this do not lessen even when things have calmed a little:

• Fatigue and low energy — even if you’ve been sleeping more than usual
• Irritability that can escalate into outbursts of anger
• Withdrawal and social isolation
• Lack of concentration that borders on dissociation
• Frequent thoughts of death, dying, or suicide

What is crucial to remember is that you can snuggle with situational depression even though you’re relieved to be getting divorced.

How To Deal With Depression After A Divorce

Accept, Feel, & Connect

It’s not unusual, especially with men, for people to pretend all is well. Suppressed emotions, however, will surface in a negative way (like being depressed). So, let yourself feel what you need to feel, and don’t hesitate to talk about your emotions with people you trust. Keeping to yourself will typically increase the kind of rumination that fuels depression. So, even when you don’t want to talk about emotions, just being out and about with friends will have a positive impact.

Add Joy To Your Schedule

Make a list of activities that bring you happiness. It doesn’t have to be about extravagance. It could be riding your bike or getting a massage. What you put on your list is up to you. But, what’s not negotiable is the need to make these joyful moments happen on a regular basis. Also, since a divorce will bring about many changes to your routines, why not use this time to try something new?

Make Self-Care A Daily Reality

With so much change happening in your life, it can be quite calming to create your own rituals and patterns. A self-care regimen is an ideal step in that direction. It adds structure while enhancing your overall well-being. Self-care also serves as a reminder that you are absolutely worth the daily commitment to yourself.

For starters:

• Commit to healthy choices in terms of what you eat and drink
• Establish and maintain steady sleep habits
• Get your body moving every day
• Practice stress management tactics like meditation, yoga, breathing exercises, and more

Through it all, never lose sight of the reality that depression can be a serious mental health condition. In the time period after a divorce, it only makes sense that you’d connect with an experienced therapist to learn more. Reach out to learn more about depression treatment.

When someone talks about enjoying a “nice day,” the safe assumption is that they are not referring to the dead of winter. The days are shorter and the weather practically dares you to go outside. Most people would not list winter as their favorite season. For some folks, however, it goes deeper than that. They suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

SAD is a form of depression that is triggered by changes in season. It can impact people in the summer but it is primarily a disorder of the dark, cold winter. It could relate to our body’s circadian rhythm and/or hormones. Whatever the cause, SAD should be taken seriously.

Common Symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder

The symptoms will mimic Major Depressive Disorder except that they relate specifically to a time of year. SAD can make you feel sad — every day for most of the day. Other common signs may include but not be limited to:

• A chronic sense of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, and guilt
• No longer wanting to partake in activities you once really enjoyed
• Loss of libido
• Appetite changes and possible weight gain
• Sleeping too much but still feeling fatigued and low energy
• Restlessness
• Inability to concentrate, focus, or make decisions
• Thoughts of self-harm, death, dying, or suicide

It’s believed that about five percent of Americans struggle with SAD but that number could be as high as 20 percent. Again, with those numbers and those symptoms, SAD should be taken seriously.

How to Help Seasonal Depression

For starters, you will want to consciously make positive choices. Find activities that make you feel hopeful; choose options that will lead to laughter and smiles. For example:

• Keep a gratitude journal and refer to it often
• Seek out funny videos
• Take regular screen breaks (TV, phone, desktop, etc.)
• Get yourself a pen pal
• Make friends with your neighbors
• Help others (humans and non-humans in need)

A Few More Steps You Can Take to Address SAD

• Actively maintain social connections: Don’t postpone a phone call or visit. Go out of your way to connect with others beyond the realm of texts and social media.
• Basic self-care: You will want to stay physically active, maintain regular sleep patterns, and make healthy eating choices. This daily commitment will sustain you more than you may realize. Ideally, even if it’s cold, spend some time outside — especially if the sun is out. Combine your physical activity with your outdoor time.
• Be creative: Cultivate new hobbies and interests. As often as you can, find ways to express yourself creatively in the process. This could be music, art, writing, painting, or anything else that calls to you and lift your spirits.
• Set up routines: Add some structure to your life. You’ll get more done and this will make you feel more satisfied and optimistic.
• Develop relaxation techniques: What relaxes you? It could be a warm bath, a good book, a mellow song, etc. Make a list and be kind to yourself often! Perhaps most importantly, practice mindfulness. Stay as present as possible without dwelling on everything you hate about the winter.

Coping With Depression is Not a Solo Act

Depression of any kind is a diagnosable disorder. Therefore, it requires the support of a skilled professional. Meeting regularly with a therapist is a proven path toward managing Seasonal Affective Disorder. You will:

• Learn all about the condition
• Explore its underlying causes
• Identify triggers
• Develop new approaches for dealing with the winter

And this is just the start. If SAD has you feeling sad, we should talk soon. Let’s connect for a free consultation and get you on the path toward healing through depression treatment.

“I feel depressed.”  For many of us, this is not a rare phrase to hear (or say). However, in a clinical sense, being “depressed” refers to a diagnosable mental health issue. Clinical depression is a common disorder and it means much more than feeling sad or blue. It presents some very obvious symptoms — and some lesser-known indicators, too.

Not many people associate depression with, say, reckless driving or risky sexual behavior. But these are just some of the possible signs. Therefore, one of the most important steps to take in dealing with depression is becoming familiar with its less obvious symptoms.

4 Lesser-Known Indicators of Depression

1. Substance Abuse

First and foremost, let’s be clear. Substance use disorders can be conditions and of themselves. However, abusing drugs or alcohol can be a dysfunctional way to self-medicate one’s depression. This is true even when a person doesn’t even realize they are depressed.

This is just one way that depression can go unrecognized. Also obscuring the connection is the reality that women are more prone to depression but men are more likely to self-medicate. In the end, while it temporarily numbs the emotions, eventually, substance abuse makes things feel worse.

2. Brain Fog

Across the board, studies show that depression has the potential to cause any or all of the following:

• Memory issues, both working memory, and long-term
• Inability to concentrate
• Impaired decision-making skills
• Forgetfulness
• Slower than usual reaction times

There are many possible causes for such issues. Depression is one of them.

3. Weight Fluctuations

We typically assign weight changes to something physical. That’s partly why this sign flies under the radar in terms of depression. Another reason is that the symptoms can vary widely. Depression affects appetite. How it affects appetites is not easy to predict or identify. You could eat less and lose weight; eat more and lose weight; eat more and gain weight; or eat less and gain weight. What matters most is that two shifts are obvious: how much you eat and how much you weigh.

4. Anger

The general perception of someone with depression is of a lethargic, low-energy person. Meanwhile, different manifestations of anger are hallmarks of the disorder. It could range from impatience to irritability to aggression to rage. People may comment that the outburst was sudden or “out of nowhere” or “not like you.” This could be caused by depression feeling out of control. You grow ashamed of how you feel. Depression inspires guilt and fear. All these emotions need release somewhere.

Ask yourself:

• Am I more easily irritated?
• Do I get defensive when people ask me about myself?
• Are people tiptoeing around me and avoiding me if possible?
• Am I driving people away at the time I need help the most?

Caveats

All of the above can be symptoms of many other conditions. As mentioned, substance abuse is a disorder. So, step one is to avoid jumping to conclusions or hitting the panic button. Yes, it’s disturbing to experience angry outbursts, unexplained weight loss, or loss of memory. Such occurrences cannot be ignored but almost certainly can be explained. A good starting point for improved awareness and understanding? Contact a mental health professional to talk about depression.

Depression is Treatable

We have worked with many people who were dealing with depression but didn’t realize it. If you think this might be happening to you, we can help.

The best way to start feeling better — whatever the cause — is to ask for help. With that in mind, we invite you to reach out and connect. Let’s schedule you for a safe and confidential consultation. We can talk about what you’re feeling. We can also begin a conversation about depression treatment and possible underlying causes. We’re here to help you live the life you want and deserve.

Encouraging someone to stay positive can often be what they need to hear. Sometimes, though, it can be the exact opposite. Everything in moderation applies to positivity, too. If we’re too focused on positivity, we can find ourselves smothering emotions we need to process.

Positivity can become especially toxic if it’s offered as a cover-up or if it’s used to make someone be quiet. This is rarely done with malice. Most of the time, it’s an attempt by that person to avoid the discomfort of being around someone who’s experiencing negative emotions. It’s important for us to acknowledge all of our emotions, though, even the negative ones.

Toxic Positivity: What Is It?

The definition of toxic positivity reads as “an overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state that results in the denial, minimization, or invalidation of authentic human emotional experiences.” To put it simply, toxic positivity is denying the existence of negative emotions and their validity. A few signs of toxic positivity include:

1. Masking how you really feel
2. Telling yourself or others to “get on with it”
3. Dismissing emotions as irrelevant
4. Minimizing someone’s experience with “feel good” statements
5. Shaming someone for their emotions, including yourself
6. Chastising someone for expressing a negative emotion
7. Refusing to acknowledge that something is bothering you or someone else
8. Giving someone your unrequested perspective like, “At least it’s not as bad as…” or, “It could be so much worse!”

Why Toxic Positivity is Harmful

Understanding why toxic positivity is harmful can help you better understand how to deal with it. This insight can also help you better acknowledge negative emotions. Some reasons that toxic positivity is detrimental include the following:

Shaming What’s Natural

Negative emotions aren’t bad emotions. They’re very normal and they’re necessary. Shame can be damaging to the spirit. It’s one of the most uncomfortable emotions we can feel. Judging someone for feeling negative emotions can shame them into silence. We force them into secrecy and invalidate their experience.

Emotional Suppression

Shaming can also cause emotional suppression. This means someone may hide or deny feelings to others and themselves. As a result, stress is stored in the body. It can actually increase how difficult it is to cope with distressing feelings.

Also, shame encourages sufferers to present themselves in inauthentic ways. We call this “masking.” It is much healthier to practice acceptance. Then feelings are actually processed, not stuffed or buried not lock them away. That’s how they can become a ticking emotional time bomb.

Isolation

Being told constantly to cheer up or look on the bright side causes us to feel unseen. Fewer things are more devastating to a human than isolation. We are naturally social creatures. Our minds need genuine connection and socialization to function at their best. Living with the sense that they need to be perpetually happy to be around others is exhausting. Eventually, this may cause some people to withdraw.

How Toxic Positivity Fuels Depression

Minimizing someone’s feelings when they’re battling depression is not supportive or encouraging. They’re already struggling with dark moods, low self-esteem, and the strain their depression puts on their relationships. Invalidating that experience just makes things that much more difficult. Even if we say things with the best intentions, it can still cause significant harm.

It’s important to help someone with depression feel like they aren’t alone. But platitudes like “Keep your head up,” make it sound like their experience is a passing phase. It very likely is not. Instead, be an active listener and an authentic shoulder to lean on. It’s more helpful to encourage them to find care.

We’re here to help. Please reach out and connect. Let’s schedule you for a safe and confidential consultation. We can talk about what you’re feeling. We can also begin a conversation about depression treatment and possible avenues for support.