Relationships are all about give and take. When you’re in a relationship, you do things to help the other person, and they respond in kind. But, sometimes, one person in the relationship requires or requests more than the other.
Narcissists have an increased desire to have all of their needs met. If you are in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you may unexpectedly turn into their supply to feed those needs to them.
What Is A Narcissist?
Narcissism is an increased sense of self-importance, along with a deep desire for admiration and attention. A narcissist may also have a severe lack of empathy for others and may only focus on their own needs, wants feelings, and desires. It is a pattern of behavior that is self-centered and arrogant, with an inflated sense of self and a lack of consideration for others.
A narcissist is deficient in genuine self-esteem and self-worth, which is why they rely upon other people to affirm and uphold their fragile ego.
Signs Of A Narcissist
There are many signs that someone may be a narcissist.
- Belittles and criticizes others often
- Bullies and intimidates
- Needs constant praise
- Wants to be admired
- Lacks empathy for others
- Needs to be the center of attention
- Has an elevated sense of self-importance
- Exploits others without compunction
What Is Narcissistic Supply?
Narcissists lack inner self-worth, so they rely upon others to feed their narcissistic supply. They need to be validated and adored in order to feel good about themselves.
Narcissistic people may use intimidation or aggression to belittle others, then use emotional intelligence, charm, manipulation, and seduction to keep others from running off. Narcissists will often be drawn to codependent relationships, as they rely on admiration and feed off of submission.
A narcissist will manipulate and control others to feel good, which is why they can be abusive in relationships. They can use aggression and be rude, offensive, and belittling towards their partners to wear down their self-worth. This can turn into a sadistic, abusive relationship. They will continue to berate and belittle partners until they are completely submissive and passive, giving the narcissist whatever they need in a desire to please them.
When you are a narcissist’s supply, your own needs and feelings are ignored and cast aside.
How To Tell If You Are Feeding A Narcissist’s Supply
Narcissists only feel a sense of happiness and achievement when others speak or think highly of them. So, they have a constant hunger for praise and attention that feeds their self-importance.
How can you tell if you are the submissive partner, inadvertently feeding the narcissist? The main sign is a complete lack of care for your needs, be they emotional, mental, or physical. They will not consider your well-being, health, or mental stability. They only care about their own self-worth.
When you are feeding someone else’s self-confidence and worth, always making them feel elevated and loved, you can begin to feel drained, lost, and alone.
Other signs that you are feeding a narcissist are:
- They demand you to do a lot for them without considering what you want.
- They need constant attention, praise, and affection from you.
- They take credit for all good things in a relationship and will not take responsibility for their failures or wrongdoings.
- You feel that they are the leader and controller in the relationship, and you go along with things.
- Your own goals seem unimportant compared to theirs, and you may push them aside in order to help them meet their goals.
- They may gaslight or ghost you.
- You feel manipulated into doing things.
- They may withhold things from you without reason, such as affection or intimacy.
Cutting Off The Supply
If you are concerned you are feeding a narcissist, it’s time to cut off their supply. A narcissist only cares about themselves and may drain another person to gain their supply of affection, praise, and attention without caring about their wants and needs.
In that case, it is important that you speak to a licensed therapist who has experience with abusive and toxic relationships to help you heal and reevaluate your relationship. Reach out soon and read more about couples therapy so we can help you manage your mental health and move toward a happier, healthier relationship in the future.