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Male Anxiety When in Relationships: What Causes It?

Relationships cause anxiety. But… not all anxiety is bad. When you meet someone you really like, it could make you feel very excited but nervous around them. This is a form of anxiety. In most cases, it’s not anything to worry about. In fact, you’ll probably enjoy the butterflies in your stomach feeling as you get to know this new person.

Relationship Anxiety is something else. It manifests as a sense of dread. You may worry that you’re not good enough to have a healthy relationship or that your partner doesn’t really love you. As with many other forms of anxiety, men experience Relationship Anxiety in their own way.

A Little More About Relationship Anxiety

Relationship Anxiety is a common form of insecurity. Left unchecked, it can escalate and impact your daily life. Here are some signs and symptoms to watch for:

  • Short Relationships: Are you ending relationships — one way or another — just before they get serious? Do you see yourself as shying away from commitment?
  • Putting Yourself Second: You’re so afraid of “chasing” your partner away that you do not assert yourself or your needs within the relationship.
  • Overthinking: What did they mean by that? You might be analyzing everything your partner says and does. This causes worry and makes you doubt your compatibility.
  • Not Having Fun: Relationships are supposed to be fun. If you spend more time stressing out than laughing and smiling, there might be an underlying cause.

Men with Relationship Anxiety probably see their actions and perspective as logical. I’m just trying to be a good partner, they tell themselves. Such a mindset is very male. You detach from the emotions and go into problem-solving mode. Meanwhile, you and your partner would be much better off if you were allowing yourself to feel and identify what’s really going on.

man of color dressed in a nice hoodie stroking beard looking off into distanceWhat Causes Anxiety in Relationships For Men?

Past Relationships 

A toxic partnership and an ugly breakup are hard to bounce back from. If those emotions are left unresolved, you may project them on any prospective partner. Also, you may be unknowingly dealing with low self-esteem due to relationship trauma. These are the type of issues best addressed in the presence of an experienced therapist.

General Anxiety

Anxiety is very common in men but a remarkably low number of men seek help. Living day-to-day with generalized anxiety will inevitably carry over to parts of your life. If you don’t let down your guard long enough to identify the existence of an anxiety disorder, it’s very tough to recognize how it’s impacting your relationships.

Attachment Style

This is the big one — the elephant in the room, as they say. As an infant and young child, you develop an attachment style based on how you are treated by your parents or caregivers. This is precisely where long-term insecurities are created. Therefore, as an adult, you may be sabotaging your romantic connections without even knowing how or why. Good news: With the help of counseling, you can change your attachment style even as an adult.

You Can Manage Relationship Anxiety

The first step for men is acceptance. It is not a “weakness” to feel anxious, worried, or nervous. Accept that something emotional is interfering with your happiness and then start doing the work to figure out the root cause. From there, you can try some self-help techniques like:

  • Maintain a daily self-care regimen
  • Engage in positive self-talk
  • Appreciate the people in your life who support you
  • Express what you are feeling — especially to your partner

Most importantly, reach out to a professional to begin the process of self-exploration. Men can manage relationship anxiety. So, let’s get started on the path to healing and recovery with Therapy For Men. Feel free to contact us soon.

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