The idea of a divorce is enough to spark fear in the hearts of even the strongest person.
After you’ve planned a future together and dreamed of what your life will be like with your spouse at your side, it can be hard to visualize a future without them. They were in all your dreams of the future, so you don’t have a roadmap for a life without them. Because of this, divorce can make you feel lost and alone. Depending on your beliefs about marriage, divorce can also make you feel like you are a failure. It can be difficult to imagine how you could ever recover and move on from this terrible life moment.
Making a Decision, One Way or the Other
Do you feel stuck in the doorway of your marriage? It’s easy to become stuck with one foot out the door and the other half yearning for what was. When you’ve visualized only one image of your future, it can be difficult to see the alternatives that are open to you. Whether you want to reconcile or move forward independently, clarity will help you make the best decisions.
The number of open doorways you can choose to walk through are unlimited. Can you see them? Everyone in your life has an opinion about what you should do because they are all vested in outcomes that are influenced by their own biases. Will you be able to recognize and choose the doorways you want to walk through with confidence? When you can see yourself living a future you will enjoy, your answer will be yes. And your decision can flow from that confidence.
Life After Divorce
Divorce doesn’t have to be difficult and painful once the decision is made. Even the most undesired divorce can become a blessing in disguise. If you allow it, divorce can be a chance to grow, to discover who you’ve become, to see your strengths, and to set a course that will ultimately be more satisfying and fulfilling than the one you were following. You can have a fantastic life after divorce.
If you feel like a failure or find yourself full of self-criticism for things you did or didn’t do, dwelling on those thoughts won’t help you create a better future. Deciding who you will be going forward will help you create a future you’ll appreciate. If you’re being hard on yourself, even if the only thing you’re beating yourself up for is being a bad judge of character, it isn’t helping you become the best possible version of you.
Blaming yourself or your partner can create a sticky emotional place that makes it difficult to move forward and doesn’t benefit anyone. Focusing on the best that can be allows you to move forward with confidence.
Therapy That Helps You Decide and Move Forward Confidently
At Affinity, we focus on your strengths and help you see yourself as whole, confident, and capable. We become unbiased partners who help make your decision to stay or go a little easier. Then we work with you to make your path forward more intentional and purposeful. Your therapist becomes a sounding board, someone who isn’t attempting to steer you toward one decision over another, so you are able to achieve clarity faster.
We also know that the pain from a divorce can end quickly or linger for a lifetime. We know why some people are able to move on and enjoy life and why others become locked in an emotional prison. Whether you can feel the possibilities and are reaching for a faster path to stability, or you are in so much pain that it is difficult to get through the day, we will meet you where you are.
It can be easier. It is easier when you don’t try to muddle through on your own. You can learn how to move forward confidently in your life.
Helping someone recommit to their relationship, or recover from the emotional turmoil of divorce, is a special privilege for us. We enjoy seeing our clients blossom faster than they ever believed they could. If you would like to know how we can help you, contact us or schedule an appointment if you are ready to heal.