Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

When a person — of any age — consciously and repeatedly threatens, mocks, and hurts another person, they are being a bully. Such behavior is most often associated with school-age children. It may involve actions like name-calling, spreading rumors, teasing, damaging others’ property, and making physical attacks of any kind. The bullied child not only suffers from these assaults, but they also feel embarrassed to have their victimhood observed by others.

As a result, children may go to great lengths to keep their parents from knowing that they are being bullied. That is why every parent and caretaker must learn to recognize the signs before things escalate.

The Impact of Bullying on Children

• Emotional: A bullied child can lose self-esteem and find themselves stuck in a cycle of fear, stress, and shame.
• Physical: Besides the pain of physical attacks, bullying can be the cause of symptoms like sleep and digestive disturbances.
• Social: If a child is targeted by bullies, they may find others avoiding them. In turn, such a child can become withdrawn and isolated.
• Academic: All of the above creates an environment in where a child’s grades may plummet and they lose interest in school.

Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

To be clear, some children will come out and tell you about being bullied, teased, etc. However, when they don’t talk about it but you can sense something is “off,” here are a few red flags to watch for:

Children and Pre-Teens

• Emotional: A palpable display of anxiety, sadness, or anger, becoming withdrawn, being secretive about life outside the home, losing interest in activities they usually enjoy, asking for money but being vague about why, etc.
• Physical: Bruises or scratches, some of their property goes missing, changes in sleeping or eating habits, complaints that they just “don’t feel good,” and more
• Social: Spending time alone, turning down social invitations, being excluded by classmates, eating lunch alone, etc.
• Academic: A sudden decline in academic performance, struggling with homework, not wanting to go on school trips, and rarely speaking in class.

Teenagers

Teens are typically more adept at hiding trouble but here are some tell-tale signs:

• Emotional: Loss of self-confidence, always in a bad mood, sudden outbursts of anger or tears, or any of the classic symptoms of an anxiety disorder.
• Physical: Unexplained physical injuries, sleep problems, no longer taking care of basic hygiene, and sudden interest in becoming muscular or learning how to fight.
• Social: Hanging out with kids who engage in risky behaviors, seeking out companions who don’t attend the same school, or spending copious amounts of time alone on their devices.
• Academic: They may simply refuse to go to school or play hooky, constantly complaining about school and school life, failing grades, lack of interest and motivation, or being anxious when leaving for school.

How to Help a Bullied Child

There is no single way to handle this complex issue. But some very useful general guidelines can serve as your foundation, e.g.

• Let them know it’s safe to open up to you. Offer no judgment of them and be fully present when they need to talk.
• Stay calm. It’s not about getting revenge on the bullies.
• Remind them that you love them and your support is unconditional.
• Be sure to document the problem so proper steps can be taken.
• Depending on your child’s age, engage in appropriate amounts of brainstorming. Make sure your child’s ideas and feelings are validated and taken seriously.

No parent should be expected to have all the answers. In situations like this, it’s essential to consider speaking to a therapist for guidance. Child therapy can help your child develop coping skills to deal with bullying and help you support them. Give my office a call and we can schedule a time to talk.